Pushing the comfort level -

Last night I went to Rick Emerson's radio listener party at Sabalas at Mt Tabor. I like Rick's show. He's a wordsmith -- clever and local.
I arrived in the hip Hawthorne district well aware that I may be a stranger in a strange land. I don't do downtown Portland all that much, even less a hip neighborhood like this.
Sabalas is a former theater turned bar/performace area.
As I crossed the street, I could tell I was the only person around in a Nordstrom button-up shirt. I had thought about buying something else for the event -- but this is who I am these days -- so accept yourself.
The crowd was younger, in some cases very young. Goth, pierced and long colored hair. I looked like a recruiter from Youth for the Republican Party. I entered the side lounge. Huge orange glow drawings were on the wall. Bartender was kind, round and tattooed. Hard of hearing also. Maybe it had something to do with all the noise.
I did feel uncomfortable at times, but I thought it did me good. Sort of a diversity training. I work around folks who - generally look and dress like I do. Here was a different set of folks. It's good that I understand not everyone looks like me.
It also took me back. Years and years ago.
To a time when I looked more like the "kids" around me.
I recalled going to another bar in Olympia with my long hair and beard.
It was a working man's bar.
I could see people look at me as if I didn't fit in.
Now -- as the old guy in the Wurther's candy commercial says, "now it's my time to give out the candy."
Last night it was easier for me to accept the counterculture dress of those around me than it was for me to accept myself being out of context.
But I pushed the comfort level not just to accept others, but to accept myself.
And I reflected, on how the angry young man with the long hair and beard now looked around and saw a new generation of expression. I breathed in the freedom -- and for a moment -- felt at home.